Tyler and I don’t have “a song.” I compiled a playlist of
cute and unconventional love songs for our wedding reception, but we’ve never
picked just one song to really exemplify our relationship. A few days ago,
while driving alone through Idaho Falls’ numbered streets, a magical
neighborhood that we now call home, Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You Babe” played
through the speakers. I know this song well - from countless times watching
“Groundhog Day” with my dad and, essentially, from having superb musical
tastes. But, this day, while driving 5 mph under the speed limit to admire the
world’s most adorable houses, I wept upon hearing, "Don't let them say your hair's too long, 'cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong." This was the song. Our song. The song that perfectly exemplified how I love and feel about my one and only.
Tyler has been teased about many things throughout his
life, by friends, family, and strangers. The most predominant being his career
choice. “You’re studying music education? [begin condescending laugh] How are you
going to raise a family doing that?!” This exact exchange actually happened
between Tyler and some douche-y customer while Tyler was working one Saturday.
This conversation happened several times over, perhaps sans laughter, with
family members for years. YEARS.
But Tyler continued to pursue his goal of becoming a
music teacher. And, dammit if he didn’t succeed!
Keep in mind, music majors are nuts. I watched someone do
it and I still don’t understand how it’s done. I tried and failed miserably at
being a music major. I still shudder a little at the site of a grand piano.
After declaring and attempting to major in nearly every core subject, I can
honestly say music was the most challenging by far and anyone who volunteers
for that life for 4+ years is nuts.
Tyler not only graduated, but he graduated with a 3.8 GPA. He got a job offer one week after completing his student teaching. And, to
make things even sweeter, that job gives him two weeks paid vacation
every Christmas, three months paid
vacation every summer, benefits, and he’s happy EVERYDAY when he returns home
no later than 5:00 p.m. Suck on that, haters.
“But, Abbie, don’t you know you’ll have to work the rest
of your life if your husband decides to keep teaching?” - another
criticism we’ve heard. Well, guess what? Tyler married a girl who LOVES working
and would do it whether or not it was necessary to pay our bills (it’s not,
FYI). Clichés aside, we were destined to be together.
Besides his career choice, Tyler’s been made fun of for
the music he listens to, the movies he watches, the clothes he wears, and the way
he styles his hair. I’ve heard these criticisms myself as they were said in my
presence. After each mention of his “flaws,” I kept thinking to myself that if
all of those things were different, Tyler wouldn’t be Tyler. I guess a suit and
tie, lawyer’s briefcase, short side-burns, and “Peter Priesthood” qualities are
appealing to some people, but I find them kind of boring.
I love Tyler’s weird shirt and tie combinations (that he
comes up with himself 99% of the time). I find it fascinating that he finds
equal value in listening to Miles Davis, Kendrick Lamar, OkGo, and Stevie
Wonder. He enthusiastically enjoys my favorite plot-less, artsy films and
simultaneously has this child-like love for super hero movies, which makes him
the funnest (yes, funnest) dad.
And, the reason for my 'Sonny and Cher'-induced tears: On
the day of our wedding, Tyler’s hair was super long. There was plenty of time
before the ceremony to get a haircut, but I encouraged him to forego the
suggested trim. I mean, he looked like a Beatle and it was awesome. In
hindsight, would he have looked equally handsome with shorter sideburns and a
tighter shape overall? Sure. But, why is it anyone’s business but Tyler’s how
his hair looks? Or how he lives all other aspects or his successful, loving,
warm, hard-working, motivated, mostly-normal, and happy life?
Each line of that song made me cry even harder that day
because we were really young and didn’t really know anything when we first
decided to get married and were encouraged by others to wait. Our love didn’t
really pay the rent, but financial aid did. I’m sad and scared a lot and I
imagine I’m not an easy person to live with or be married to, but he makes me
laugh and he’s always there. And, I am confident that there is no mountain we
can’t climb… metaphorically, of course, because we really aren’t that into
hiking.
I’ve never been
so comfortable being my absolute truest self than when I met that ska-punk-loving saxophone player in that parking lot that September evening all those years ago. If anyone makes fun of you, babe, don’t worry, I got you.
