Tuesday, January 5, 2016

I Can Do (Almost) Anything

I recently took upon the task of building bookshelves for my office. I’ve accumulated a few (hundred) books over the last few years and particle-board bookshelves are THE WORST. Because I had more time than money, I looked up some ideas on Pinterest, headed to the hardware store and got to work staining and measuring. Upon time for actual assembly, I was still feeling pretty motivated and optimistic. I drilled my first hole . . . and stripped the very first screw. After a slight change in design, I switched to a countersink bit to make the shelves look more professional . . . and it snapped in half during my practice drill. After the second stripped screw, stripped beyond repair, I took the irrational leap to SCREW DIYs forever.


Then, I had a most important epiphany: I don’t have to make everything from scratch by myself - I can ask other people to help me; I can pay someone to help me; heck, I can even BUY something already made at a store! And, the kicker? It doesn’t make me less of a person, less of a woman, or less of a mom or wife. Turns out, Pinterest is NOT the golden standard of personhood.

So, woodworking is not one of my skills, whatever. Guess what other skills I have? A BUNCH of other things. Remember that list I made about all the things I’m interested in and all of the things I could pursue if I wanted to? I had graduated from college two years prior and was still on a mad search for my life’s purpose. At the time, because I couldn’t decide what was best for me, I half tried all of it and half didn’t do anything at all.

A few weeks before writing that post, I had enlisted the help of a life coach in order to possibly narrow the search for my “life’s purpose.” Near the end of our twelve weeks, she challenged me to dream: “Dream big,” she’d say, then I’d respond. “No, bigger!” she’d say, and I’d give a bigger response. “No, Abbie, I want you to dream even BIGGER!” Well, my dream got so big and real that, while packing my entire home and preparing to move from Rexburg to Las Vegas, I enrolled myself into a PhD program and started my own wellness consulting business.


Today, I sit facing my gorgeous bookshelves (that a friend lovingly assembled for me) in my home office, researching three different essay topics because I can’t decide which one I want to know more about. Sounds super nerdy to you, perhaps, but to me, it means that after ten long years of searching and praying to know what to do with my life, I’ve finally found an answer.