Why Having a Baby Isn't the Worst

When I found out I was pregnant, I was . . . how should I put this . . . pissed. I’m not really sure exactly where the stress came from, but the Internet was not helpful. I subconsciously calculated that mothers of young children on Facebook and in blogs shared struggles and successes in a ratio of about 7:1. Posts about poop smears, complaints about laundry and restless nights seemed to far outweigh expressions of joy in motherhood. Or, the sentiments stood together: “My clothes are covered in spit up and my house is a mess, but [I say, cliché-ly] it’s all worth it!”

What I expected while I was expecting was a life void of freedom and friends and full of frustration and feces. But, may I introduce a voice of moderation about motherhood? I am aware that family planning, pregnancy, birth and postpartum experiences are different for everyone, but there seems to be a lack of optimism and ease about this subject and based on my first (and perhaps, somewhat unique) experience, I’d like to share some things that might balance the ratio.

•In the words of my mother: “Women dumber than you have been doing this for thousands of years. It’s just not that big a deal.”

•Pregnancy ends. Seriously. You think you’re doomed to be 30+ pounds overweight forever and then magically you can shop in the regular section at H&M again.

•Childbirth can be exhilarating and happy and kind of fun. It’s feministic and empowering and a great test for the mind and body. Kind of like speed walking or doing a crossword puzzle. Only harder and more fulfilling.

•People are really friendly to new moms. They bring you food and don’t judge you when you show up 30 minutes late to church.

•Newborn babies sleep ALL DAY LONG. There’s so much time to nap and read and eat and shop and work and clean and stare at your baby’s face and hands and feet and person.

•When newborns don’t sleep, they eat, make funny faces and if they’re anything like Coltrane, occasionally cry, but all of this can be taken care of in the comfort of your own home. While wearing a sports bra and yoga pants and watching Netflix.

•Cleaning poop and pee and spit up becomes just something to be done like showering, and pooping and peeing ourselves. Everyone does it and babies just need some help for a few years.

•Babies aren’t mobile and can’t really see or do anything for quite a while, so there’s lots of time to relax, have a life and create things.

•Babies are almost indestructible. Feeding, changing, holding, loving and talking to them are pretty much all that’s necessary for them to grow up and have a normal life.

When you have your own little person, you have truly never seen anything so cute and perfect and smoochable. You become so infatuated and overwhelmed by love that all previous worries just don’t matter anymore.

Maybe I just have an easy baby, maybe some people like to be “real” and share the good with the bad, but I wish I had had more positive things to read while I was hyperventilating about how horrible I thought my life was going to be. Good and bad always come together, but in the talk about babies, the ratio is ∞:1.

I have never ever been happier.